Full Steam Ahead or Quiet Contentment?

Are growth and accomplishment the be-all, end-all of retirement?

For some, life in the “last quarter’ is a series of endless adventures – “full steam ahead” – whether it be travelling to all points on the compass, learning a new language, or even starting a new business.

For others, it may be something simpler, such as reading books in multiple genres, trying new recipes, or burying their hands in the moist black dirt of a flower or vegetable garden.

In my case, it has been a chance to share my stories with others through my writing, in the hope that readers are enriched or validated in some way.

But at what point does pursuing the “full steam ahead” approach of growth and accomplishment in our “last quarter” undermine any sense of contentment? Are you “failing” at retirement because you haven’t filled your passport with stamps from all 44 recognized European countries, learned how to speak West Frisian, or founded a start-up that specializes in eco-friendly rare earth mineral extraction?

Or are you “succeeding” at retirement because you’re content to tend your tomatoes and work your way through that stack of books that’s been staring back at you since 2015?

Is there a right way to “do” retirement?

Arlene says “full steam ahead”

Arlene Dickinson, 68, whose main claim to fame in Canada was as a venture capitalist on the reality show “Dragon’s Den,” and for whom I have a great deal of respect, recently posted the following on Facebook:

I think about [courage] a lot when I see adults, at any age, settling into smaller and smaller worlds. The same coffee order, the same daily routines. The same conversations with the same people about the same safe topics.

When exactly in our lives does predictability start passing for an accomplishment?

She speaks glowingly of some cultures where seniors are not invisible, but are instead out embracing life at every turn. “They’re engaged and anything but small,” she says. And by “engaged,” she means that they’re doing exactly the types of things that I mention above, like travel, learning, entrepreneurship, and (so) much more besides.

“Full steam ahead!” might indeed be the motto.

I love this in many ways – I really do, as it reflects a zest for life (as well as considerable privilege). Being joyful and open-minded is a healthy way to approach any new day.

Moreover, predictability, routine, and smallness can easily cross the line from contentment to complacency, and that’s where the rot – physical, spiritual, conversational – starts to set in. No argument there.

But the first thing that came to mind when I read the rest of Arlene Dickinson’s post is that it sounds less like retirement and more like the working years – strive, accomplish, never be satisfied. Climb the ladder, go on to the brass ring that’s always just out of reach.

The heck with being content with who or where you are. With this approach, the pursuit of personal growth in retirement risks becoming an obsession rather than a means to fulfilment.

Frankly, it sounds exhausting.

Two key ingredients

Now, to be fair, the point of her post was that, “full steam ahead” or not, a life well lived requires two key ingredients: courage and curiosity. And this is where she is bang-on.

But there are different ways of being courageous and curious. While one person might want to take on the 9,290-foot Jebel Jai Flight zipline in the United Arab Emirates, another might exhibit courage by growing something new and untried in the garden. Or finally tackling Moby Dick.

One person may want to learn a new language, while another will be content with getting better at the ones she already speaks.

One might want to start a new business, while another might want to throw caution to the wind and – oh, I don’t know, write.

All are valid and require courage and curiosity, even if one type of activity takes you to all seven continents, while the other rarely requires you to leave your yard.

And there’s a balance to be struck here between contentment and growth. Someone who believes themselves to be content but never steps out of their comfort zone will suffer from the same poverty of spirit as will a person who is constantly going “full steam ahead,” but is never satisfied.

Neither suggests a fulfilling “last quarter.”

Motivations

We all have our own motivations for doing the things we choose to do, or not do, in retirement.

For some, it’s a time to try things they’ve never tried.

For others, it’s a chance to continue doing what they love, but more of it. And for still others, it’s a chance to spend more time with the people they love.

Some of these require a great deal of courage and curiosity, while others, less, but only you know whether what you’re doing is a way of hiding or thriving.

The courage and curiosity to write

In my case, I write because I love the written word — always have, whether it be fountain pen to paper in my journal every morning, pounding the keys on my manual typewriter during my undergrad years, or in front of the computer screen as I sit and write this very story. Some people paint, some sculpt, some draw. I write.

At this stage of my life, I also write because I believe what I have to say could make a difference to someone, even if only once in a while. If only one person says, “I see myself in this story,” it will have been worth the effort. Both of us will be better for it.

But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also writing with the idea of proving something, whether to some amorphous “everyone” or only to myself.

It’s about proving that I’m at least somewhat capable at a particular skill as I edge toward the end of my seventh decade. Proving that I still matter and have something to contribute. Wanting my family to be proud of me, not just for what I’ve done in my life, but for what I’m doing. Wanting to be proud of myself for going out on a limb.

Growing, even if not at a “full steam ahead” pace.

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But all that having been said, writing is a joy rather than an obsession for me because I’m at the same time grateful for what I have, where I live, what I do, and who I am in my “last quarter.”

The writing process itself enables me to bounce out of bed most mornings at 6 AM, ready to embrace yet another opportunity to say what I think needs to be said. That’s irrespective of any “success” I might have in this avocation.

I might not travel to the four corners of the earth, learn a fourth language, or start a business at this stage of my life, but I’ll live with courage and curiosity the best way I know how, through the written word. “Full steam ahead,” but in an understated way.

This is how I’ll “do” retirement, content that it’ll be more than enough for me.